A NEW LOOK

Long story short, the old template was about as effective as single-ply toilet paper.

So we spent time reflecting on how to improve, and now we’re implementing slow, continuous changes.

Instead of stretching solutions over weeks, we’re zeroing in on challenges that keep our fellow millennials up at night and offering solutions that can be implemented quickly for long-term success.

It’s sort of like the Japanese philosophy, “Kaizen.” (Get it?!)

This hyper-focus is:

1. Lingchi - A deep dive into the problem and what some of the long-term effects are if it continues

2. Hansei - Working together to reflect and identify what can be improved

3. Kaizen - Solutions and small adjustments that can improve the situation

Please reply to this email if you like the new look or hate it. Your feedback means the world to us to continuously improve this newsletter.

Don’t worry; the one thing that isn’t changing (and I’m sure you’re glad) is my bad dad jokes and embarrassing attempts at humor.

This week, we’ll give definitions. Don’t worry if you forget them; they’ll be included as a link in the headlines in future issues.

Lingchi - “Death by 1000 Cuts”

Quickly Filling You In.

Lingchi is a metaphor created from one of the worst tortures we’ve ever heard of.

The ancient Chinese had a torture they would use especially when looking for information. They’d cut someone over and over to inflict a massive amount of pain - but not kill them.

Excavating a metaphor from this seems a little backward, doesn’t it?

Cutting someone hundreds or thousands of times until they succumbed to infection and, eventually, died.

Don’t worry, this form of torture has been outlawed, so you’re safe.

We’re left with a metaphor that is equally as powerful as the torture was gruesome and awful.

There are many things that cause pain in our lives: stress in our relationships, things we do in our daily lives, things we’ve said, people we spend time with, or even things we do to ourselves.

When these things happen here and there, it doesn’t affect us.

But when it continues to happen over and over, there’s a real impact on our lives.

The most modern saying that is really close in meaning is “the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

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Lingchi: Neglecting Passions and Hobbies

There are a lot of hobbies out there. You probably have at least one or two.

These are all things that are recharging. Or things that you feel you could literally do every day all day and never tire of.

For some it’s travel. Others it’s mechanics. Hiking. Fishing. Knitting (okay, fine, it’s crochet!).

More importantly, our hobbies give us a sense of purpose.

Given all that, repeatedly neglecting hobbies and passions can lead to:

Burnout 

Depriving yourself of hobbies and passions makes you more prone to burnout. Burnout has significant adverse effects on both your mental and physical well-being.

Once you reach the point of burnout, you may lack the energy to explore your interests or enjoy proper "me-time."

Stress Buildup 

Pains in muscles you didn’t know you had. Getting frustrated and angry at things that normally don’t upset you. Mood swings. Headaches. Panic attacks.

All symptoms of stress overload.

A Sense of Emptiness

Going back to Ikigai, when you don’t have your own hobbies and interests, you may feel empty. It may be just a complete add-up of all the stress. It may just be from losing touch with yourself because you’re not connecting with the things that make you happy.

Health 

Purpose (Ikigai) is one thing that people who live in the Blue Zones say is important to living over 100 years old. It helps you bond with your friends. Or have a depth of stories that make you interesting.

With a loss of sense of purpose or having mental issues like anxiety, mood swings, or anger, your health takes a toll. High blood pressure. A feeling of being unwell. Fatigue.

Hansei (Reflection)

There’s always room for improvement. You can’t make adjustments until you analyze what’s wrong. That’s where Hansei comes in.

Hansei is a systematic approach to acknowledging and contemplating one's mistakes with the goal of improvement.

But it’s not meant to be hurtful. It’s about:

1. Taking personal responsibility for actions

2. Experiencing a sense of regret

3. Committing to improve

4. Creating concrete plans for future betterment

Think of when you were told to put your nose in a corner. What did you do while you were there?

After throwing a small tantrum, you would start to go into your mind and play back what you had just done. Hit the dog with a broomstick. Poked your sibling in the eye. Said a swear word - not that your parents ever said a single one!

Then, to get out of the corner, your parents would ask “What did you learn?" and then ask for you to apologize.

The thoughts you had while in the corner, and your parents having you tell them what you’d learned and how you wouldn’t do it again was hansei.

IN PRACTICE

Think back over the last couple of months. If you’re thinking about all the good food you at over Christmas, you’re focusing on the wrong stuff!

When was the last time that you participated in one of your hobbies? Yesterday? Last week? Last month?

How long did you spend doing it? Was it fulfilling?

Time Management

Realizing you’ve prioritized other activities over your hobbies.

• Watching TV

• Going out to bars

• Excessive video gameplay

Fear or Intimidation

Acknowledging that fear or anxiety about starting or returning to a hobby, especially if skills have been rusty.

Major Life Changes

Reflecting on different things that may have had a significant impact on where the focus of your life is.

• Marriage

• A Death in the Family

• A New Career

Overwhelm

Feeling stretched too thin by trying to maintain too many hobbies simultaneously.

Guilt and Self-Judgment

Feeling terrible about neglecting certain hobbies in favor of others, especially those that provide easy dopamine hits like gaming.Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Consult a healthcare professional for personalized guidance on sleep-related issues.

Kaizen

This is how to execute. Make small adjustments to one thing. Take on another if you feel it’s helping.

Time Management

Watching TV

Small adjustment: Limit TV time to 1 hour per day.

Implementation: Set a timer when starting to watch TV. When it goes off, switch to a hobby activity.

Tools: Sleep timer on your tv

Going Out to Bars

Small adjustment: Replace one bar night per week with a hobby night.

Implementation: Schedule a specific weeknight for hobby time and inform friends of your unavailability.

Social Meetups Tool: Meetup 

Excessive Video Gameplay

Small adjustment: Set a daily gaming limit and use excess time for hobbies.

Implementation: Use an app blocker to limit gaming time, then transition to hobby activities.

App blockers: BlockSite, AppBlock

Fear or Intimidation

Small adjustment: Start with very small, achievable goals in your hobby.

Implementation: Set a timer for just 10 minutes of hobby time daily. Focus on the process, not the outcome.

Timer: FocusToDo

Major Life Changes

Marriage

Small adjustment: Incorporate hobby time into your new shared schedule.

Implementation: Discuss with your partner and agree on specific times for individual hobbies.

Tools: TimeTree, Cupla

A Death in the Family

Small adjustment: Use your hobby as a form of self-care and healing.

Implementation: Set aside a small amount of time each day for your hobby as a way to process grief.

Tools: Google Calendar, FocusToDo

A New Career

Small adjustment: Find ways to integrate your hobby into your new routine.

Implementation: Bring hobby-related items to work for break times or lunch hours.

Overwhelm

Small adjustment: Focus on one or two primary hobbies instead of trying to maintain many.

Implementation: List your hobbies and rank them. Commit to regular time for the top two.

Guilt and Self-Judgment

Small adjustment: Practice self-compassion and reframe hobby time as self-care.

Implementation: Each time you engage in your hobby, start with a positive affirmation about why this time is valuable and necessary.